Haydon's Handy (Triathlon) Alibi Checklist*
Updated: Sep 7, 2018
This list is intended to simplify the problem of selecting the proper alibi to suit the occasion.
While some triathletes are so bad they don’t need an excuse, there comes a time in the developing career of almost every triathlete when he or she will feel the need for an explanation to account for an unusually disappointing performance.
At such times this handy alibi checklist may prove helpful. Fill in the empty circles for your applicable alibis. For those hardy souls who desire to pioneer in the discovery of new alibis there are a few blank spaces which may be used for write-ins.
o Ate too much.
o I was weak from lack of nourishment.
o Not enough time to warmup.
o Warmed up too much.
o Not enough training.
o Over-trained.
o Not enough sleep.
o I was groggy from too much sleep.
o Needed more gels.
o Too many gels.
Needed more electrolytes.
o Needed more caffeine.
o Too excited from too much caffeine.
o Needed vitamin A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K.
(circle the needed vitamin).
o Not enough weight training.
o Muscle bound from too much weight training.
o I’m building up slowly for the next Ironman.
o I reached my peak too soon.
o Saving myself for ______________________________.
(Name of event, SIGO, etc.)
o Started my kick too soon.
o Started my kick too late.
o No kick.
o Worried about work.
o Worried about finances.
o SIGO unfriendly last night.
o SIGO too friendly last night.
o I choked up when I saw that _____________________ was racing.
o Too much competition.
o Not enough competition.
o I didn’t use my head.
o I thought too much.
o I swam over the slower swimmer and thought I was disqualified.
o I was blocking for the rider drafting behind me and thought I was disqualified.
o I cut off the runner at the turnaround timing mat and thought I was disqualified.
o I’m a stronger rider in the wind and there was no wind today.
o I don’t do well in the wind and the flags were blowing straight today.
o I only brought a disc wheel and I couldn’t use it today because of the wind.
o I didn’t bring my disc wheel because it was supposed to be windy.
o I ‘m a mountain goat on the hills and this was a flat course.
o I can’t sustain the wattage on the hills like the climbers in the race.
o I swim better in a non-legal wetsuit race.
o I can’t swim without a wetsuit.
o I didn’t hear the starting horn and never recovered to catch the others.
o The starting horn scared the crap out of me so I panicked at the swim start and never recovered.
o Weather was too warm.
o Weather was too cold.
o My tri-suit was too tight.
o My tri-suit was too loose.
o My bike had equipment failure.
o My running shoes broke a shoe string.
o My wetsuit zipper didn’t zip.
o I developed blisters.
o I got shin splints.
o Forgot to cut my toenails and it rubbed off mid-way on the run.
o Forgot to cut my fingernails and I ripped a big hole in the wetsuit before the race even started.
o These foreign made shoes aren’t as good as domestically sourced shoes.
o I felt inferior without foreign-made shoes.
o I felt inferior.
o I really am inferior.
o Shoes too big for my feet.
o Shoes too small for my feet.
o Cramp in leg.
o Cramp in ___________________________.
(fill-in location of cramp)
o Forgot my bike shoes.
o Forgot my running shoes.
o Forgot my sandals to walk to the swim start.
o Got cold feet.
o I thought I was having a heart attack.
o Blinded by the sun reflection off the water.
o Could not see the turn buoy due to fog on the water.
o Could not see due to darkness at the swim start.
o Could not see due to darkness near the end of the run leg.
o The airlines lost my bike case on the flight in.
o The airlines lost my race gear on the flight in.
o I got lost in: fog, darkness, countryside, parking lot, or ____________.
(choose at least one from above)
o Showed up at the right race on the wrong weekend.
o Showed up at the wrong race on the right weekend.
o Too many races.