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  • Writer's pictureDoug Morris

You Might Be a Triathlete

With all due respect to Jeff Foxworthy, the citizens of Tennessee, the rest of the south, and anyone who may be offended; let’s share a bit of kinship with triathletes. If you ever wondered about whether you too are a triathlete, or not, then below is sample comparison list. You may be a triathlete if:

  • You think moonshine is the light you workout by early in the morning or late into the evening.

  • You own more than one bike.

  • Your bikes are worth more than your car or house or even both combined.

  • You have more sets of bike wheels in the garage than bike frames to accommodate them.

  • Your favorite race t-shirts are the newest and oldest ones in your dresser.

  • Your best and favorite blanket is made of old race t-shirts.

  • Your loser race shirts are used to clean your bicycles.

  • You go to bed by 8pm and wake-up before 5am to workout.

  • You have more race finisher’s pictures on your desk of yourself crossing the finish line than pictures of your spouse or kids.

  • Your six-pack is your stomach instead of sloshing around inside of it.

  • White Lightening is what you use as lube on your chain instead of doing shots with it to loosen up on weekends.

  • You are skilled at expelling snot rockets...

  • ... and take pride in it.

  • Your mutt dog runs and hides when you get the leash.

Dog Running
Breaker Running in a 10K Road Race